How to Overcome Your Fear of Approaching Women
It’s natural for even the most confident man to be intimidated by approaching a woman they find attractive. In fact, the very fact that they intimidate probably has something to do with your attraction to them. Here are five simple ways to overcome the common fear that cripples many men on the dating scene. It takes practice, but achieving the confidence to approach a woman with a swagger and ask her out is something all men are capable of if they put their mind to it.
1. Mayor walking
How do you usually walk down the street? Looking in shop windows or
down at your feet, talking on your cell phone or with headphones on? Try
something different. Walk down a street in your town and say hi and
smile to everyone you meet. Greet people you recognize and exchange a
few words. With strangers, just say hi and give them a smile. There are
no strings attached to this exercise. You will probably never see most
of these people again and, if you do, it’s unlikely either of you will
remember meeting. Use this exercise to inspire your confidence in
approaching people.
2. Uncomfortable situations
Make a point, just once or twice, to put yourself in a situation that
is a little awkward or downright uncomfortable. Start small if your
fears are big. You will learn how you tend to handle this kind of social
stress and you will learn what you need to do differently before and
during the encounter to gain confidence. Don’t attach any outcome to the
situation; just do it as an exercise.
3. Talking for the sake of talking
What intimidates men about approaching women is not the actual
encounter – the greeting, the hello, the conversation – but the expected
outcome or the unspoken assumptions about that outcome. It’s the risk,
basically. By practicing approaching people with the intention of just
chatting, with no strings attached and no assumptions about how the
conversation will proceed, you can build your confidence for more
stressful situations.
4. Practicing in daily life
Along with exercises like mayor walking and chatting with no strings
attached, try bantering with waiters and servers and other employees at
places you visit. They are used to customers chatting them up and it
will give you more structured practice.
5. Get out and about
In general, one of the best ways to overcome shyness is simply
getting out of the house and out of your regular routine and into the
world where you will undoubtedly meet and talk to new people.
Volunteering is a good way to do this, in fact. Whether you choose a
food bank or an animal shelter, you will be meeting and talking with new
people every day. Some of them will be women and some of these women
you will be attracted to. The entire set up is perfect for easing
yourself into approaching women with new found confidence.