How many chances with a beautiful woman have already passed you by because you were either too afraid to approach her or were waiting for her to approach you? Too many, regardless of the number. If you’re a man who plays the suave card and makes a point of presenting a detached, aloof air, you’ll know all too well that your technique most often requires women to approach you instead of the other way around. To maintain your hip posture and still get dates, just make yourself known among everyone at the party or bar that you are at. It’s as simple as that. Once you are no longer socially mysterious, women can approach you with confidence.

1. Be on the move
Looking like you’ve got some place to be will help you move around the room and meet all who have arrived. Act as though you are hosting a party: there is always something to be checked on, somewhere to be, someone to greet. A casual greeting or a flirtatious joke with everyone you meet will make you well known throughout the room and easier to approach.

2. Keep yourself likable
Being gregarious can be obnoxious if not done correctly. Make sure you are proceeding with respect for each party you encounter and that your aim is to make sure you and everyone else is having a good time. If you arrive early in the evening, build up a rapport with the staff. Later on, they’ll remember your friendliness and the favors they toss you will be appreciated by all the patrons and attributed to your social prowess.

3. Find an advantageous location
It might seem foolish, but simply consciously choosing where you spend most of your time standing in the bar can make or break your social status. You want to be the friendly guy that everyone recognizes and likes by the end of the night. You can do this while maintaining your sexy charisma and, soon, the women who have had their eye on you all night will finally feel comfortable enough to approach you.

4. Talk to everyone
Remember that your goal is to be well known throughout the bar or party, regardless of whether there are groups or people who you usually wouldn’t talk to or would even actively avoid. Talk to anyone and everyone. While you might think the lady in the red dress is smokin’ and will never even notice you, if you are gregarious it is likely she will find you equally attractive and yet unapproachable. The key here is to demonstrate that while you are friendly, boisterous and hot, you aren’t elitist or snobby. Look too cool for school but make sure you include everyone in your rounds so that the women you have your eye on feels you are approachable.

5. Make your appearance notable
All the running around and greeting and socializing in the world won’t get you truly noticed if your appearance blends in. You want everyone to notice you and you want everyone to recognize you easily. Don’t go overboard: stay within your comfort zone fashion-wise and pick an outfit that suits and communicates your personality. Play up your good features. Maybe dress a little more formally than everyone else will be dressed so you look sexy and stand out from the pack just a little.

The most important thing you will need to become the life of the party is confidence in the spotlight. Whether you need a few practice runs to get into your groove or a few shots to set you on fire, once you are on you need to be ON. Done right, with confidence, swagger and friendliness, every woman in the room will want you. Then, of course, all you have to do is take your pick.

Play the game: Once you have gotten the attention of women in the room, flirt to build tension and make them want you more. Keep up your rounds and your gregarious personality, making sure to send a few favors when you have them to the particular woman you are interested in. If there’s not one woman in particular, don’t sweat it. You’ve got the social sway to keep a few women going. Enjoy your brief celebrity status as the go-to guy for curious partiers and the next big thing for all the single ladies.