It’s natural for even the most confident man to be intimidated by approaching a woman they find attractive. In fact, the very fact that they intimidate probably has something to do with your attraction to them. Here are five simple ways to overcome the common fear that cripples many men on the dating scene. It takes practice, but achieving the confidence to approach a woman with a swagger and ask her out is something all men are capable of if they put their mind to it.
1. Mayor walking
How do you usually walk down the street? Looking in shop windows or down at your feet, talking on your cell phone or with headphones on? Try something different. Walk down a street in your town and say hi and smile to everyone you meet. Greet people you recognize and exchange a few words. With strangers, just say hi and give them a smile. There are no strings attached to this exercise. You will probably never see most of these people again and, if you do, it’s unlikely either of you will remember meeting. Use this exercise to inspire your confidence in approaching people.
2. Uncomfortable situations
Make a point, just once or twice, to put yourself in a situation that is a little awkward or downright uncomfortable. Start small if your fears are big. You will learn how you tend to handle this kind of social stress and you will learn what you need to do differently before and during the encounter to gain confidence. Don’t attach any outcome to the situation; just do it as an exercise.
3. Talking for the sake of talking
What intimidates men about approaching women is not the actual encounter – the greeting, the hello, the conversation – but the expected outcome or the unspoken assumptions about that outcome. It’s the risk, basically. By practicing approaching people with the intention of just chatting, with no strings attached and no assumptions about how the conversation will proceed, you can build your confidence for more stressful situations.
4. Practicing in daily life
Along with exercises like mayor walking and chatting with no strings attached, try bantering with waiters and servers and other employees at places you visit. They are used to customers chatting them up and it will give you more structured practice.
5. Get out and about
In general, one of the best ways to overcome shyness is simply getting out of the house and out of your regular routine and into the world where you will undoubtedly meet and talk to new people. Volunteering is a good way to do this, in fact. Whether you choose a food bank or an animal shelter, you will be meeting and talking with new people every day. Some of them will be women and some of these women you will be attracted to. The entire set up is perfect for easing yourself into approaching women with new found confidence.