# The Tao of Badass

> Dating, conversation, and confidence guidance for men from Joshua Pellicer and The Tao of Badass.

## How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/articles/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone/

I am going to give you some highly coveted information why 95% of guys fall into a sadly unenviable position with women called "The Friend Zone"

Getting out of that so-called "Friend Zone" is one of the most common questions I get from guys.

Let me explain.

### The rationale behind "The Friend Zone"

There are two major reasons that you are stuck in "The Friend Zone" and you are most likely doing both without ever realizing it.

- not touching enough

- skipping the attraction stage

Let's begin with touching.

Building rapport with a woman is great. However, rapport does not create the physical connection. To break the bonds of pure rapport and create anchors of sexuality, you need to break the touch barrier early on and intensify that touch over time.

Here's how...

One of the most amazing methods for creating sexuality and emotional anchors is to take her intrigue and curiosity about you to new levels through simple but brief touch.

This can be as straightforward as slight and casual touch of the hand or shoulder for two to three seconds or less during the course of conversation.

Yet, you should be consistently creating these emotional anchors of trust and connection at least once per minute. Otherwise, you may well be headed to "The Friend Zone."

Rule of thumb...Increase your touch 300%. In other words, touch 3 times more than would normally.

The other tendency most guys have is to skip the attraction stage altogether and go head-first into deep conversation and rapport building.

Trust me, there is a time and place for rapport building; however, what typically happens is most guys never reach the peak level of attraction needed to stimulate desirable magnetism beyond friendship.

### How to get out of "The Friend Zone"

As I said, there are only a few ways to get out of "The Friend Zone."

First, let me warn you. It takes patience and it takes work.

It seems that the male species has an imprint old thoughts and concepts that DO NOT work. If you are used to asking women to go out to dinner or have a drink, toss that thinking out of your mind right now.

Getting out of "The Friend Zone" requires a shift in the paradigm of your connection with women.

This new way of thinking creates a win-win situation for you and for her.

The key is to invite her to "meet up" in a comfortable social setting. 'Meeting up' can help alleviate feelings of pressure for you both.

Yet, there are a few critical aspects of this 'meeting up' philosophy that can help create the right environment for creating sexuality and emotional anchors.

One of the coolest things I suggest to guys who ask me about getting out of "The Friend Zone" is to invite your friends to meet up at the same location. In particular, inviting attractive female friends not sexually interested in you.

When you meet up with her and follow this system, you will see a transformation in the way she interacts with you.

Why does this work?

Well, for starters, when she sees you interacting equally in a group conversation and creating eye contact with everyone -- female and male -- not just focusing just on her, you become more attractive.

When she sees other women are attracted to you, you show value.

She starts to desire your attention. However, to get your attention she has to do something to create attraction.

This becomes your opportunity to be extra playful, a chance to flirt and follow the "Attraction Blueprint." Remember, this is not the time for deep conversation, but rather the time for attraction through laughing and touching.

When you have set the stage at the height of attraction, you now have the opening for building rapport.

Do not put attraction on the backburner here. Touching is still crucial because you are still providing value in a number of stimulating ways.

As you can see, getting out of "The Friend Zone" means recognizing your own behaviors when it comes to women and changing the way you interact.

You are not just another nice guy. You are not one of the 95%. You can provide her value and create emotional anchors that will show her a new part of you that she hasn't seen.

## The Best Ways to Keep a Conversation Going

Short answer: Keep a conversation going by asking genuine questions instead of canned lines, staying observant about your surroundings so you always have something real to say, keeping the mood light instead of stressed, listening more than you talk, and staying present instead of thinking about anything except the woman in front of you. Consistent practice with these five habits matters more than natural charm.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/the-best-ways-to-keep-a-conversation-going/
Published: 2024-04-02T19:45:20.000Z

Guys, here’s the bottom line: If you can’t keep a conversation going, you can’t be a badass with women. The good news is… with consistent effort and practice, you can master this skill. Don’t worry if you don’t have a natural “gift of gab.” With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. That’s because you’ve developed a core foundation of skills for any situation you’ll encounter.

If you have multiple ways to sustain a conversation, it creates more curiosity in the mind of a woman. She’ll be thinking to herself: “I wonder what he’s gonna say next?” This keeps her guessing, and wards off the biggest enemy and attraction-killer for a woman: Boredom. You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys.

Let’s get started – here are the top 5 ways to keep a conversation going:

### 1. Ask genuine, non-threatening questions

Most women are wary of PUA games, tactics or weird language from guys. If you try any of these tricks and they aren’t congruent with your personality, at the best you’re probably off to a bad start – and at the worst, she’s mentally blown you off. The best way to set yourself apart from other guys is to ask authentic questions… without an agenda or hidden motive. A woman needs to trust and feel safe around you before she’s willing to spend more time in a conversation. Real badasses don’t rely on canned lines, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions.

### 2. Observe and be perceptive

When you get in the habit of paying attention to your surroundings – people, places and things – you’ll almost never run out of things to say. It’s a rare man who actually does this, and it’s a very attractive trait to women. Just make sure whatever you say is accurate and genuine, and you don’t have an agenda behind it. Women have built-in, finely-tuned BS detectors, and if she feels you’re not being truthful with her (or you’re saying something just to get her into bed)… it’s game over, and you’re done.

### 3. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light

Most women spend a lot of time worrying about any number of topics. A guy who can keep her mind off the worries of the world is someone she’ll want to spend more time with. Big-screen badasses like Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone or John Wayne never looked worried, and were able to handle whatever situations that came up. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. A woman will follow your social lead, based on how you come across and make her feel. Women like being around guys who make them feel safe and secure – and you can do this by staying calm, cool and relaxed.

### 4. Be an active listener

One of the best ways to keep a conversation going isn’t by being the smoothest talker, or monopolizing the conversation – but instead, being the best listener. This may not come easily or naturally to you at first – especially if you’re an extrovert, or are nervous in social situations. Even if you have to bite your tongue waiting for someone to finish their thought or ideas, do it. People like other people who let them talk, and women will respect and appreciate you more. When you practice being an active listener, you’ll become more relaxed in all social situations.

### 5. Stay “present” and in the moment

As guys, we think about a lot of things: The idiot that cut us off in traffic… what time tonight’s game starts… or what band is playing this weekend – and we don’t focus on the person or situation right in front of us. We tend to be “up in our head,” or nervous, thinking about what has or might happen – or what an attractive woman might think of us. This mental chatter prevents you from being truly focused on the person or conversation at hand. For women it’s called being “present,” and it’s absolutely HUGE.

A female friend of mine said: “Being present is EVERYTHING.” This means you’re truly engaged in a conversation, contributing and giving genuine feedback. You aren’t nodding like a bobble head doll, or mindlessly saying “uh-huh” or “yeah” every so often. Women aren’t fooled at all when you do this. You’ll appear lazy or apathetic, and she definitely won’t think you’re a badass.

Like anything, you’ll have to put in time and effort to develop this skill – but the payoff in better business and personal relationships is HUGE. It’s the social equivalent of hitting a million-dollar jackpot in Vegas.

Conversation is just one of the skills needed to be a Badass with women. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). Don’t try and “re-invent the wheel” when it comes to your social life. I don’t believe in gimmicks, games or PUA tricks (which always fail in the long-run). I do believe in good, solid information that can help you become the rare man who can attract – and keep – a quality woman in your life. Check out the Tao of Badass book and members area, and give yourself the well-deserved gift of great relationships with the opposite sex.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: Why do I run out of things to say to a woman?
A: Running out of things to say usually comes from relying on canned lines or scripted questions instead of paying attention to what is actually happening around you. If you get in the habit of observing people, places, and things in the moment, you will almost never run dry, because your surroundings constantly give you new, genuine things to comment on and ask about.

Q: What does it mean to be present in a conversation?
A: Being present means your attention is actually on the person and the conversation in front of you, not on your phone, what happened earlier, or what you plan to say next. It shows up as genuine reactions and real follow up questions instead of a distracted nod or a mindless yeah. Women notice the difference immediately, and it is one of the simplest ways to seem more engaged.

Q: Is being a good listener more important than being a good talker?
A: Yes. Being the best listener in the room matters more than being the smoothest talker or monopolizing the conversation. Letting someone finish their thought instead of jumping in, even when it is tempting, makes people feel respected and heard, which builds more trust and interest than any clever line could.

## Best Ways to Stop a Woman on the Street

Short answer: To stop a woman on the street, catch her eye and hold it so she knows the contact was not an accident, then use a clear, calm voice she can hear over the noise. Do not chase after her if she keeps walking; hold your ground, compliment her, and use open hand gestures and a genuine smile so she feels safe enough to stop and talk.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/best-ways-to-stop-a-woman-on-the-street/
Published: 2024-04-02T19:52:48.000Z

We’ve all seen a woman pass us on the street that catches our eye and intrigues us to the point of entrancement. How do you step out of your comfort zone and approach her, right there on the street and completely out of the blue? It’s not something that many people would even consider doing, but it can be incredibly romantic and can save you from missing what could be the opportunity of a life time. Here’s how to catch her eye, make sure she sees you and engage her in a conversation that will make the situation romantic instead of awkward.

### 1. Eye contact

Nearly every book, list or website you read about how men can connect better with women will mention eye contact. And they’re right. With the pretty lady you see on the street, make eye contact as soon as possible. Keep your eyes locked, too, so she knows that it wasn’t just chance that your eyes met. Once eye contact has been made, make sure she knows you are trying to get her attention. Wave, nod – something obviously attention getting.

### 2. Use your voice

If you’re on a loud street, you’ll need to speak up. Make sure the ends of your sentences aren’t getting lost in the noisy bustle around you. This is particular important if she’s a distance away and not near enough to hear you talking at a normal volume. Stay calm and keep your words simple so she can understand.

### 3. Don’t follow

You don’t want to rush after her. This displays neediness and might scare her. Instead, hold your ground and make sure she has heard you and has seen your eye contact. Compliment her so she’ll have a reason to slow down and engage you. If you need to, try complimenting a few random people throughout the day and seeing what kinds of responses you get. Note what works best so you’ll be prepared when the woman of your dreams strides past.

### 4. Use your hands

Incorporating hand gestures into your conversation will not only help her follow your conversation if you’re somewhere busy, but it will also keep her attention on you. On the street, it will be easy for her to get distracted, particularly if she isn’t totally convinced that it was worth stopping to talk. Use your hands to keep her eyes focused on you. Using your hands will also display confidence. Don’t keep them in your pockets with your shoulders slouched. You know what you want and you think she’ll want it, too. Make that clear.

### 5. Smile

There is nothing as welcoming and nonthreatening as a smile. You want to show her how excited you are by seeing her but also maintain a calm that assures her that you aren’t a nutcase. Just smile. Express your excitement and attraction to her with your grin. It will calm her down, welcome her to you, and engage her in conversation.

The trick with stopping a busy lady on the street is accessing your confidence and then, of course, not losing it. You have to stand your ground. Don’t run after her; your eye contact and waving should be bold enough to convince her to stop. From there, you know what to do. Flirt, compliment, engage. Make her so intrigued by you that she wants to know more. Don’t get too casual too quick – remember that you just met on the street and you don’t even know if she’s single – but if her body language is saying “yes,” go ahead and ask for a chance to see her again. Stopping someone on the street who catches your eye can seem a little trashy if you don’t handle yourself correctly. The trick is getting her attention and then letting her know how honorable and honest your intentions are.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: Is it creepy to stop a woman on the street?
A: It only comes across as creepy if you chase her, crowd her space, or get pushy after she has signaled no interest. Making eye contact, speaking clearly, and holding your ground while she decides whether to stop are read as confident, not creepy. The line is respecting her choice: if she does not slow down after a genuine compliment, let her go.

Q: What do you say to a woman you don't know on the street?
A: Keep it simple and genuine. A direct, specific compliment works better than a canned line, since it shows you actually noticed her rather than reciting something you say to everyone. Speak clearly and loud enough for her to hear over street noise, use her body language to gauge interest, and be ready to introduce yourself once she stops.

Q: How do you know if a woman wants to be approached on the street?
A: Watch her body language after you make eye contact. If she holds the eye contact, slows her pace, or smiles back, she is open to being approached. If she looks away quickly, speeds up, or avoids your gaze entirely, that is your answer too. Reading these signals before you speak saves you from approaching someone who clearly wants to be left alone.

## Top 5 Ways Men Kill Attraction

Short answer: Men kill attraction most often by dwelling on past relationships instead of staying present, avoiding eye contact, keeping their hands to themselves instead of using light, platonic touch, devaluing themselves by acting like she is out of their league, and ignoring her body language instead of adjusting to it. Any one of these can quietly end an otherwise good interaction.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/top-5-ways-men-kill-attraction/
Published: 2024-04-02T19:51:24.000Z

Just as important as knowing what to do in flirting and dating situations is knowing what not to do. You can follow every piece of good advice you get about how to act around women, but if you just add those to your repertoire and don’t weed out things that are dragging you down, you’re not going to see much success.

### 1. Don’t talk in depth about past relationships

Mentioning your ex is okay if it’s applicable to the conversation but avoid getting into the past relationship conversation at all. Stay present! Do you want to hear about all her past lovers?! Neither does she!

### 2. Don’t avoid eye contact

Eye contact is the way humans connect. By avoiding eye contact, you are giving up one of the oldest signs of confidence and even dominance. This is primal stuff – evolutionary even. Looking her in the eye when you ask her questions and when she responds shows her that you are confident in yourself, that you’re truly interested in her and that you are a big enough man to engage emotionally.

### 3. Don’t keep your hands to yourself

While we’re taught that touching other people should only be done in intimate settings, friendly touch is a great way to portray confidence and connect with your prospective date. Keep it nice and platonic; rest assured that if you play it right, you’ll get to the sexual touching later. Shake her hand when you greet her. Touch her on the arm to point something out. Tap her on the shoulder to emphasis a punch line or a compliment.

### 4. Don’t devalue yourself

If you go into the situation believing she is too good for you, you’ve already lost the game. No matter how much you swagger, she’ll be able to sense that you are unsure of yourself and lack confidence. If you can’t even summon up the confidence and self worth to approach an attractive woman to ask her on a date, you need to be working on your self image, learning to appreciate and value who you are, and taking a break from the dating scene.

### 5. Don’t ignore her body language and reactions

Barreling forward with your carefully planned flirtation strategy might make you feel truly prepared for once, but you’ll fail for one simple reason: Attraction is about both you AND her. If you try one technique and it falls flat, don’t just reach into your toolbox and try something else. Note her reaction to your first attempt. What went wrong? Did she pull away? Did she give you a look? Determine whether you came on too strong or didn’t portray enough confidence, or if you have offended her or simply not piqued her interest.

So, remember, no matter how many tricks and techniques you learn, if you aren’t present in the moment, observing and connecting with her, you aren’t going to have any luck. Men who have a long history of failed flirtations sometimes grab onto what they believe will be miracle fixes. This list of things to avoid doing will guide you in the right direction, but if you aren’t relaxed and gauging her body language and the way she is reacting to your come-ons, you’re going to go home alone tonight. No woman wants a man who is so caught up in himself and his own plans that he forgets to engage in the moment he is sharing with her.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: What kills attraction the fastest with a woman?
A: No single habit is the fastest attraction killer. Five mistakes carry equal weight: dwelling on past relationships instead of staying present, avoiding eye contact, keeping your hands to yourself instead of using light platonic touch, devaluing yourself by acting like she is out of your league, and ignoring her body language instead of adjusting to it. Any one of these can quietly end an otherwise good interaction.

Q: Is talking about your ex a turn off?
A: Yes, if you dwell on it. Bringing up an ex briefly when it is genuinely relevant is fine, but spending real time on past relationships pulls the conversation out of the present moment and makes her wonder why you are not focused on her. Staying present with what is actually happening between you two matters more than any story from your past.

Q: Why is body language more important than what you say?
A: Because it either backs up your words or contradicts them, and people trust the nonverbal signal over the verbal one. Avoiding eye contact, ignoring her reactions, or failing to notice she has pulled away all undercut whatever confident thing you just said. Reading and adjusting to her body language shows you are actually paying attention to her, not just running a script.

## Ways to Get that First Kiss

Short answer: Trust your gut instead of overthinking it. Watch her eyes dart between your eyes and your lips, since that means she is ready. Touch her hand before you go for it, then either lean straight in or warm her up with a kiss on the cheek or a whisper in her ear. If you land on her cheek instead of her lips, stay calm and try again a little later.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/ways-to-get-that-first-kiss/
Published: 2024-04-02T20:01:44.000Z

Men and women alike have plenty of horror stories to tell about their very first kiss. By the time we reach the dating scene, though, we’re well past the initial awkwardness of two people’s lips touching, and the main worries are what her reaction will be and if it’s the right moment. Trust your gut. Be aware of her body language and analyze your own desires. Chances are, you’ll know exactly when to kiss her. Now here’s how to do it.

### 1. Man up

Boys shuffle their feet and avoid eye contact before darting in for a surprise kiss. Men look into a woman’s eyes, knows she wants him as much as he wants her, and takes that little risk to lean in and kiss her on the lips. Man up. Women don’t want a boy, too timid and unsure to get what he wants.

### 2. Watch her eyes

One of the telltale signs of a woman waiting to be kissed is if she is glancing from your eyes to your lips. The moment a woman realizes she wants to kiss a man, she becomes fascinated with his lips and entranced by his eyes. Her eyes will dart from each of your eyes to your lips and back again, in a triangular shape. Watch for the signs. You’ll know when.

### 3. Hold her hand

Kissing is a very intimate form of touch. To ease that first contact, make sure you have touched her hand or shoulder sometime before or during conversation or flirtation. If you haven’t touched her much yet, take her hand before looking up into her eyes. You don’t need to do anything special with that hand; just hold it softly, and then look her in the eye. You’ll be able to tell if she wants it.

### 4. Start with a cheek kiss

If cuddling and closeness has preceded the kissing moment, placing a kiss on her cheek or temple is a good way to ease into the more intimate mouth kiss. Because a kiss on the cheek is seen as a casual and adorable act, it will lighten the mood and help her relax, too. It’s a display of gentleness and will show her that you are into her specifically, not just into what might happen later on.

### 5. Whisper in her ear

Like kissing her on the cheek, a quiet whisper in her ear will tell her in a gentle, romantic way that you want to kiss her more intimately. You don’t have to say anything particularly romantic during the whisper; in fact, you don’t actually have to say anything at all. Simple placing your mouth close to her ear and breathing softly will, if she’s into it, send shivers up her spine and make her want that kiss as much as you do.

The thing that stops most men from leaning in for that first taste of sweetness is the fear that once rejected, they will be forever in the doghouse. For most women, though, this isn’t how it works. If your lips land on a woman’s cheek the first time you lean in to kiss her, take it in stride. Read her reaction. Is she disgusted or just unsure for the moment? Often times, if she doesn’t excuse herself right then and there, she will be ready for your first kiss just a little while later. Stick around, continue being gentle and loving, listening attentively and accustoming her to being touched.

Remember, always, that a kiss, while just the first step in what will hopefully be a very exciting night, is a very intimate action. An evening of flirting and casual touching will help ease the transition to suddenly touching lips, but it will always be a little nerve wracking. Isn’t that what makes it thrilling in the first place? Ease your lady into being touched by you, make sure she knows you can and want to be gentle with her, and don’t get scared away if she’s not quite ready the first time you lean in.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: How do you know when a woman wants you to kiss her?
A: Watch her eyes. When a woman is ready to be kissed, her gaze tends to dart between your eyes and your lips in a triangular pattern instead of holding steady eye contact. Combine that with her leaning in, touching your hand, or staying close during a quiet moment, and you have a strong signal that she is waiting on you to close the distance.

Q: What if you miss and kiss her cheek instead of her lips?
A: Take it in stride instead of panicking or apologizing repeatedly. Read her reaction: if she does not pull away or excuse herself right away, she is likely just not ready yet rather than uninterested. Stay gentle, keep the mood relaxed, and she will often be ready for an actual kiss a little later in the same interaction.

Q: Should you ask before you kiss her the first time?
A: You do not need to ask outright, since that can kill the moment, but you do need her clear, ongoing consent through her body language: eye contact, leaning in, and letting you hold her hand or get close. Trust your gut, take that small risk, and read her reaction the moment it happens.

## The Top 5 Reasons Men Get Rejected

Short answer: Men usually get rejected because of how they present themselves, not because of looks or money. The five biggest culprits are weak or closed off body language, failing to match a woman's energy and atmosphere, facing her head on instead of at an angle, swinging between too passive and too pushy, and giving up on the interaction before it plays out. Fix your presentation and your odds improve.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/the-top-5-reasons-men-get-rejected/
Published: 2024-04-02T22:48:26.000Z

### Top 5 Reasons You Keep Getting Rejected

In the game of love, everyone is rejected at some point. Of course, knowing exactly why you’ve been turned down isn’t always clear and if you don’t know what you did wrong, how can you improve your chances? Luckily, you aren’t the first man to be turned down. As long as men have been chasing women, they’ve been being turned down. Why? For starters, the way a man presents himself is key to attracting a woman’s attention, and it’s something most men overlook. Most men think that the clothes they wear or how much money they have is what is primarily going to attract women, but it is actually much simpler than that. You are not the problem; the way you present yourself is. You can improve your odds in the dating game and finally feel like you know what you’re doing by simply addressing the most common mistakes.

### 1. Understanding Body Language

While it’s true that confidence is something women find sexy, it takes more than boasting and flirting to portray that you are comfortable in yourself. Body language is key. You want to show your prospective date that you feel good in your own skin and feel in control of the situation. Stand up straight and make eye contact. Humans communicate primarily through body language; your words will mean next to nothing if you present yourself in an alluring way. But remember: Women can often tell if you are actually confident in yourself or just faking. Work on your self esteem and approach women with an air of ease for best results.

### 2. Matching Energy and Atmosphere

Society tells us that a man should be solemn and serious, a grounding, powerful force, but women want someone they can connect with. Before asking a woman out, gauge her energy levels and the general atmosphere of the people around her. A woman is going to want you to meet her on her level: Be charming and attentive but always note her reactions so you can adjust your approach. Make it hard for her to turn you down by engaging her and showing her that you can understand her body language and meet her needs and wants.

### 3. Choosing Positive Body Language

Here we go again with the body language. Yes, it’s really that important. Dating and flirting are just evolution’s way of helping two people determine if they are right for each other. Those basic instincts from hundreds of thousands of years ago are still alive in us. Facing a woman head on will make her feel confronted and uncomfortable. A successful man makes a woman see he is powerful enough to keep her safe and gentle enough to protect her. Practice embodying confidence without aggressiveness.

### 4. Walking the Thin Line Between Too Much and Too Little

Since being socially appropriate is always a must in dating situations, knowing just how confident and assertive to be is a conundrum for many men. Being loud and obnoxious won’t gain you the attention you seek and neither will sneaking into their social circle and waiting for her to notice you. There’s a balance between these extremes. Harness your true confidence, address her with interest but don’t be overbearing. You want to appear highly interested, not obsessed or desperate.

### 5. Committing to Your Mission

You will not get a yes from your prospective date if you have decided ahead of time that she will never say yes. You will also not get a yes from her if you walk into the situation eager to get out of it. If you really want to go out with this lady, you’re going to, at some point, spend time with her. Go into the situation with the mindset of wanting to know more about her and asking her out if things go well. Harness your confidence, remind yourself that the way you portray yourself is key, and be prepared to stay in the interaction until it has come to its natural conclusion.

Don’t run away. Whether she answers yes or no, sprinting away from her to hide behind the nearest curtain isn’t going to comfort her about her decision to say yes or inspire her to change her answer from no.

If you have gotten rejected a lot in the past, it’s likely you are trying to exact same approach over and over and expecting different results. Change it up a little. Try something new. Think about what your body language is communicating about yourself and the way your prospective date’s body language is asking you to connect with her. Stick with your original mission. Stay confident. And remember: You are an eligible bachelor; it’s the way that you present yourself that turns women away.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: What is the number one reason men get rejected by women?
A: There is no single top reason. Five factors carry equal weight: weak or closed off body language, failing to match a woman's energy and atmosphere, facing her head on instead of at an angle, swinging between too passive and too pushy, and giving up on the interaction before it plays out. Fixing how you present yourself across all five improves your odds.

Q: How do you know if your body language is turning women off?
A: Watch for slouching, avoiding eye contact, facing her head on instead of at a slight angle, or crossing your arms defensively. These read as either low confidence or aggression, neither of which women respond well to. The fix is standing up straight, holding relaxed eye contact, and approaching at an angle that feels open rather than confrontational.

Q: Should you keep trying after a woman says no?
A: Not with the same woman in that moment; pushing after a clear no reads as desperate, not confident. What you should keep doing is showing up with your original mission and mindset intact for the next interaction instead of assuming something is wrong with you. Rejection usually points to a fixable presentation habit, not a reason to stop approaching women altogether.

## How to Overcome Your Fear of Approaching Women

Short answer: You overcome the fear by practicing low-stakes exposure, not by waiting for confidence to show up first. Walk down the street greeting strangers, put yourself in mildly uncomfortable situations on purpose, chat with people with no outcome attached, banter with waiters and staff, and get out of your routine through things like volunteering. Repetition in low-pressure settings builds the confidence that carries over to approaching women.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-approaching-women/
Published: 2024-04-02T22:45:23.000Z

It’s natural for even the most confident man to be intimidated by approaching a woman they find attractive. In fact, the very fact that they intimidate probably has something to do with your attraction to them. Here are five simple ways to overcome the common fear that cripples many men on the dating scene. It takes practice, but achieving the confidence to approach a woman with a swagger and ask her out is something all men are capable of if they put their mind to it.

### 1. Mayor walking

How do you usually walk down the street? Looking in shop windows or down at your feet, talking on your cell phone or with headphones on? Try something different. Walk down a street in your town and say hi and smile to everyone you meet. Greet people you recognize and exchange a few words. With strangers, just say hi and give them a smile. There are no strings attached to this exercise. You will probably never see most of these people again and, if you do, it’s unlikely either of you will remember meeting. Use this exercise to inspire your confidence in approaching people.

### 2. Uncomfortable situations

Make a point, just once or twice, to put yourself in a situation that is a little awkward or downright uncomfortable. Start small if your fears are big. You will learn how you tend to handle this kind of social stress and you will learn what you need to do differently before and during the encounter to gain confidence. Don’t attach any outcome to the situation; just do it as an exercise.

### 3. Talking for the sake of talking

What intimidates men about approaching women is not the actual encounter – the greeting, the hello, the conversation – but the expected outcome or the unspoken assumptions about that outcome. It’s the risk, basically. By practicing approaching people with the intention of just chatting, with no strings attached and no assumptions about how the conversation will proceed, you can build your confidence for more stressful situations.

### 4. Practicing in daily life

Along with exercises like mayor walking and chatting with no strings attached, try bantering with waiters and servers and other employees at places you visit. They are used to customers chatting them up and it will give you more structured practice.

### 5. Get out and about

In general, one of the best ways to overcome shyness is simply getting out of the house and out of your regular routine and into the world where you will undoubtedly meet and talk to new people. Volunteering is a good way to do this, in fact. Whether you choose a food bank or an animal shelter, you will be meeting and talking with new people every day. Some of them will be women and some of these women you will be attracted to. The entire set up is perfect for easing yourself into approaching women with new found confidence.

### 6. Unlock Unstoppable Confidence: Master the Art of Approaching Women

Ready to completely crush your fear of approaching women and become the guy who commands attention wherever he goes? Our advanced course on approaching will take you from hesitant to unstoppable. It’s not just about saying hello. It’s about owning every interaction and making a lasting impression. This is where real confidence is built, with expert-level strategies that most men never even think about. Don’t miss out on the chance to transform your dating life. Join the course today and start approaching women with the swagger and success you’ve always wanted.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: Why am I so scared to approach women?
A: The fear usually is not really about the woman herself, but about the risk of the expected outcome: rejection, embarrassment, or not knowing what to say next. The attraction you feel toward her can make the stakes feel higher than they are. Practicing low pressure interactions where there is no outcome attached trains your brain to separate the conversation from the fear of failing.

Q: How do you practice talking to women without pressure?
A: Start with strangers who are not the point: chat with waiters, servers, or people on the street with no goal beyond the conversation itself. This is sometimes called talking for the sake of talking. Because nothing is riding on the outcome, you get real practice reading reactions and staying relaxed, which carries over naturally once you are talking to a woman you are actually interested in.

Q: How long does it take to get over approach anxiety?
A: There is no set timeline. It depends on how often you practice. Repeating the five exercises regularly, greeting strangers on your walk, deliberately stepping into mildly uncomfortable situations, chatting with people with no outcome attached, bantering with waiters and servers, and getting out of your routine through things like volunteering, builds confidence faster than waiting for one high stakes moment.

## Top 5 Ways You Can Tell if a Woman is Attracted to You

Short answer: You can usually tell a woman is attracted to you through five signals: she touches you more than a platonic friend would, her pupils dilate when she looks at you, she leans in during conversation, she offers to buy you a drink, and she actively seeks your attention. None of these alone is proof, but two or three together are a strong sign.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/top-5-ways-you-can-tell-if-a-woman-is-attracted-to-you/
Published: 2024-04-02T22:42:22.000Z

It’s easy to tell when you are attracted to someone: the quickened heartbeat, the bodily stirring, the sudden desire to talk, to touch, to know her. But how can you tell if she likes you back? Some women are teases and like to lead men on. Other women simply are flirtatious and like to joke around with a lot of guys, regardless of whether they are attracted to or interested in them. All this makes it hard for a guy to figure out if the woman he has his eye on is checking him out, too. If you’ve ever thought of women as an entirely different species, here’s a little field guide to help you determine whether she’s interested in you or not.

### 1. Touch

Female friends touch each other often in conversation. Male friends, too, touch each other, sharing a pat on the back or high five now and then. In contrast, male/female friends rarely touch each other. Because of this, if the woman you have your eye on has been physically affectionate towards you – whether mussing up your hair or touching your hand lightly to draw your attention to something – this breach in male/female friendship behavior is a sign she is interested in more than just friendship.

### 2. Pupil Dilation

This one is entirely biological and can be backed up by science. One of the first symptoms of attraction and arousal is dilated pupils. If you notice her pupils grow when she sees you or when you are flirting, take it as a sign she’s interested.

### 3. Leaning In

The way a woman interacts with you is full of clues to her level of attraction. Leaning towards you or against you is a good sign. With leaning, a woman can initiate closeness and physical contact without making a blunt move. One of these times when she is leaning towards you, just slip your arm around her shoulders.

### 4. Buying Drinks

Buying a lady a drink is the quintessential way a male expresses his interest in a woman. Now and then, a woman will take this practice into her own hands but turn the tables on you. While it’s counter to tradition, the implication is still the same: She’s got her eye on you.

### 5. Seeking Attention

Put simply, a woman who is interested in you will want your attention. Few women will try to get your attention obnoxiously, so look for subtlety.

Don’t underestimate the shyness some women might have, though. If a woman isn’t reciprocating but simply staying neutral, don’t take it as a negative sign. Consider it for what it is: neutral. Keep at it until you either see a negative sign, in which case you know she is not interested, or a positive sign, in which case you’ll know exactly what to do

### Frequently asked questions

Q: What is the biggest sign a woman likes you?
A: There is no single biggest sign, but unprompted touch is one of the strongest, since men and women who are just friends rarely touch each other much. If she is mussing your hair, touching your hand, or finding small reasons to make physical contact, that breach of normal friend behavior usually means she is interested in more than friendship.

Q: Can a woman be flirty and not actually be interested?
A: Yes. Some women are naturally flirtatious with a lot of guys regardless of real interest, which is exactly what makes reading signals confusing. That is why it helps to look for a cluster of signs together, like leaning in, pupil dilation, and seeking your attention, rather than relying on one flirty comment or laugh to mean she wants something more.

Q: What if a woman seems neutral instead of interested or uninterested?
A: Neutral just means neutral, not a rejection. Some women are shy and will not show obvious signals even when they are interested. Keep engaging normally and watch for a clearer signal, positive or negative, before reading too much into a quiet or reserved reaction.

## How to Make a Woman Approach You

Short answer: Women approach men who already seem approachable to everyone else in the room. Move around instead of camping in one spot, stay friendly with staff and strangers alike, plant yourself somewhere central, talk to everyone rather than just who you want, and dress so you stand out a little. Once you are the well known, likable guy, women feel safe enough to walk up to you first.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/how-to-make-a-woman-approach-you/
Published: 2024-04-22T18:47:27.000Z

How many chances with a beautiful woman have already passed you by because you were either too afraid to approach her or were waiting for her to approach you? Too many, regardless of the number. If you’re a man who plays the suave card and makes a point of presenting a detached, aloof air, you’ll know all too well that your technique most often requires women to approach you instead of the other way around. To maintain your hip posture and still get dates, just make yourself known among everyone at the party or bar that you are at. It’s as simple as that. Once you are no longer socially mysterious, women can approach you with confidence.

### 1. Be on the move

Looking like you’ve got some place to be will help you move around the room and meet all who have arrived. Act as though you are hosting a party: there is always something to be checked on, somewhere to be, someone to greet. A casual greeting or a flirtatious joke with everyone you meet will make you well known throughout the room and easier to approach.

### 2. Keep yourself likable

Being gregarious can be obnoxious if not done correctly. Make sure you are proceeding with respect for each party you encounter and that your aim is to make sure you and everyone else is having a good time. If you arrive early in the evening, build up a rapport with the staff. Later on, they’ll remember your friendliness and the favors they toss you will be appreciated by all the patrons and attributed to your social prowess.

### 3. Find an advantageous location

It might seem foolish, but simply consciously choosing where you spend most of your time standing in the bar can make or break your social status. You want to be the friendly guy that everyone recognizes and likes by the end of the night. You can do this while maintaining your sexy charisma and, soon, the women who have had their eye on you all night will finally feel comfortable enough to approach you.

### 4. Talk to everyone

Remember that your goal is to be well known throughout the bar or party, regardless of whether there are groups or people who you usually wouldn’t talk to or would even actively avoid. Talk to anyone and everyone. While you might think the lady in the red dress is smokin’ and will never even notice you, if you are gregarious it is likely she will find you equally attractive and yet unapproachable. The key here is to demonstrate that while you are friendly, boisterous and hot, you aren’t elitist or snobby. Look too cool for school but make sure you include everyone in your rounds so that the women you have your eye on feels you are approachable.

### 5. Make your appearance notable

All the running around and greeting and socializing in the world won’t get you truly noticed if your appearance blends in. You want everyone to notice you and you want everyone to recognize you easily. Don’t go overboard: stay within your comfort zone fashion-wise and pick an outfit that suits and communicates your personality. Play up your good features. Maybe dress a little more formally than everyone else will be dressed so you look sexy and stand out from the pack just a little.

The most important thing you will need to become the life of the party is confidence in the spotlight. Whether you need a few practice runs to get into your groove or a few shots to set you on fire, once you are on you need to be ON. Done right, with confidence, swagger and friendliness, every woman in the room will want you. Then, of course, all you have to do is take your pick.

Play the game: Once you have gotten the attention of women in the room, flirt to build tension and make them want you more. Keep up your rounds and your gregarious personality, making sure to send a few favors when you have them to the particular woman you are interested in. If there’s not one woman in particular, don’t sweat it. You’ve got the social sway to keep a few women going. Enjoy your brief celebrity status as the go-to guy for curious partiers and the next big thing for all the single ladies.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: Why won't women approach me first?
A: Most women will not approach a man who seems socially unknown or mysterious, because it carries more risk for her than for you. If nobody else in the room seems to know you or vouch for you socially, she has no easy way to gauge whether you are safe or interesting to talk to. Becoming a visible, friendly presence in the room removes that uncertainty.

Q: Where should you stand to get noticed at a bar or party?
A: Pick a spot that gets natural foot traffic rather than a corner where people have to seek you out, such as near the bar, the entrance, or wherever people naturally gather to chat. Staying mobile and circulating through the room also matters more than any single spot, since it lets more people, including the women you are interested in, see and remember you.

Q: Does being friendly with everyone actually attract women?
A: Yes, as long as it stays genuine and not obnoxious. Being warm with the group, the staff, and people you would not normally talk to signals that you are friendly and social without being elitist, which is exactly what makes you feel safe and approachable to a woman who has been watching from across the room.

## Best 5 Ways to Pass a Woman’s Congruence Tests

Short answer: When a woman throws a fussy or bitchy comment your way early on, she is usually testing how you react, not rejecting you. You pass by staying playful: flip the script, misread it as flirting, redirect with a compliment, brush it off, or play along. Bounce back two or three times instead of getting defensive, and she will likely warm up.

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/best-5-ways-to-pass-a-womans-congruence-tests/
Published: 2024-04-22T18:54:26.000Z

Society sees women as riding a constant emotional roller coaster. Men are afraid of women they see with this sort of inconsistency, but what they don’t realize is that some women portray themselves as more flighty than they really are. Why, you ask? To see how you, their prospective date, reacts. If you can put up with her exaggerating her fluctuating opinions and emotions, you can surely handle her in real life. And that’s the assurance she needs. Basically, it’s a test. Here’s how to pass it.

If you approach a woman you have your eye on and she throws you some fussy comment like, “Who the hell are you?” believe me when I say this doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested. There are five easy ways you can turn her rudeness into a flirtation and show her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy sometimes.

### 1. Flip the script

Getting a little catty, in a playful way, is more common among women than men, so saying something like, “Are you flirting with me?” will surprise and probably amuse her. It takes a little nerve but give it a try. If nothing else, it’ll soften her up.

### 2. Misinterpret

Few women are actually that rude, so just assume she’s testing you – teasing you, even. Purposefully take the statement as a come on. Respond with something like, “So you want to get to know me, huh?” She’ll be surprised and maybe taken aback at first, but ultimately she will be impressed by your smooth recovery and your playfulness.

### 3. Redirect

Instead of taking offense to the statement, take it for what it is: a little game. Respond with a compliment and tell her you think she’s cute or feisty. Again, she’ll be surprised and impressed. She’ll also be taken off guard so you can start flirting with her real self, not her testing self.

### 4. Ignore

Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. “Nah, I don’t feel like dancing right now. I’d love to buy you a drink, though.” Don’t get caught up in her game; she really just wants to know that you won’t be scared away by it, she doesn’t need a sparring partner.

### 5. Play along

Another way to surprise her and turn the conversation onto a more positive road is to simply make the comment playful by playing along. “I could ask you the same!” meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her reluctance to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.

When you approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to summon up and she responds with a jagged comment, it is easy to get deflated. Just remember that she is testing you. Bounce back two or three times before giving up. Chances are that after you have proven you are up to the task of handling her emotional ups and downs, she’s going to be much more interested in you.

### Frequently asked questions

Q: What is a congruence test from a woman?
A: A congruence test is when a woman throws out a fussy, bitchy, or dismissive comment early in an interaction to see how you react. It is not really about the comment itself. She wants to know if your confidence is consistent, whether you get rattled by her testing your patience, or whether you handle her mood swings the same way you would handle her in a calm moment.

Q: Why do women test men when they first meet?
A: Women test men because society expects women to be emotionally unpredictable, and some play into that on purpose to see how a prospective date responds. If you can handle her exaggerated moodiness with humor and confidence early on, she trusts you can handle her in real life too. It is less about being difficult and more about checking for consistency.

Q: What happens if you fail a congruence test?
A: Getting rattled, defensive, or walking away after one jab usually ends the interaction, since it signals you cannot handle her moods. The fix is not giving up after the first try. Bounce back two or three times with a playful response like flipping the script or redirecting with a compliment, and most women will ease up once they see you are unbothered.

## Programs

Canonical: https://thetaoofbadass.com/programs/

### The Tao of Badass

The Tao of Badass is your playbook for leveling up with women. Forget cheesy lines and fake routines. This program teaches you how to attract women naturally by owning the room with confidence and reading the subtle cues she’s giving off. It’s all about mastering body language, communication, and showing up as your authentic self. This isn’t some trick game. It’s about becoming the guy she genuinely wants, without the BS. If you’re ready to flip the script and take control, this guide has you covered.

Link: https://ttob.me/ttobprogramstao1

### Advanced Coaches Mastery Course

Ready to level up your game and become a pro at attraction? Whether you want to be a top dating coach or just crush it with women, this program gives you Jedi-level skills and confidence. Get access to weekly HD training videos, live coaching calls, and a private group with other ACMC members.

Packed with insider interviews from top industry gurus and business blueprints for launching your own coaching career, this program will teach you how to create real connections and master the art of attraction like never before.

Link: https://www.taoofbadass.com/acmc-monthly

### Hacking Attraction

In this program, you’ll tap into next-level techniques that supercharge your game with women. Discover your hidden superpowers and what makes you her type, every time. Master the ‘1 through 5 Guide’ to read body language like a pro, know exactly when to make your move, and spot the green lights she’s giving you. Learn how to decode the look in her eyes, bypass the logical talk, and go straight for her emotions.

With NLP tricks, you’ll build deep connections, slash no-shows, and create relationships that actually last.

Link: https://ttob.me/ttobprogramsha

### What To Say

What to Say is like having a cheat code for real-life conversations with women. It breaks down exactly how to approach, engage, and attract women, whether you’re chatting her up at a bar or running into her on a midday coffee break. The course is packed with clever conversation strategies and ready-made lines that help you keep things smooth and interesting. It’s designed for guys who might be struggling with what to say or how to make a lasting impression.

Plus, it comes loaded with extras like the Fashion Formula and a Quick Start Texting Guide to make sure you’re covered from the first “hey” to sealing the deal. If you’re looking to level up your game, this is a solid play.

Link: https://ttob.me/ttobprogramswts